Saturday, October 9, 2010

Things You May Not Know (and May Not Wish to Know) About Me

I have no middle name. In middle school, my friends and I would make up a different one every week or so. The only one I remember is 'Love'.

Quite a few people have mistaken me for a Spanish-speaking gal. I have English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Swedish, and Danish blood. Did I forget any...? I suppose those folks from Wales migrated from Spain ages ago, and that's where I get my coloring. Now you know!

My two nicknames when I was a baby were "Thunder Thighs" and "Cuddle Bunny". I think it's pretty obvious which one I prefer... Thundercats are GO! Totally kidding - I'm very insecure about my thighs, thanks to my verbally abusive family.

I lived in England for five years, and have traveled all around Europe, but have never been further east in the United States than the Chicago airport.

I got married in Las Vegas. I wasn't drunk at the time; I actually planned it! Looking back, I still don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to get married in Vegas. But, despite all the smut and loudness of that city, the wedding was perfect for us.

I follow the rules a little too well. For example, when another driver crosses over the double white line of the carpool lane, I am amazed that they were physically able to do such a thing.

I don't like the way I talk. I have a very "interesting" accent, which I am constantly trying to control. I learned how to talk in Oklahoma. I briefly spoke with a British accent (my husband wishes I still did) while living in the UK. Then I moved to Utah and that accent took over. Big time. Add in a dash of "like, totally, whatever!" and that's me. Ugh.

I'm terribly afraid of spiders, yet I chose to place a gigantic, furry (fake) one in my window for Halloween. Side note: Take that, everyone else in my condo community! My window spanks you guys!

I'm now 26, but many people assume I'm much younger. It shouldn't, but it bugs the CRAP out of me.

I have a visual condition casually referred to as "visual static". Basically, think of one of those magic eye pictures plus static/snow on a tv. That's what I see all the time. It's really no big deal in the daytime, vision-wise. It's clearest at night in the dark and it's crazy (who needs LSD?) I've seen this stuff for as long as I can remember. Until about a year ago, I thought I was the only person on Earth who had this, but then I found a website with a bunch of people describing the same things. Thank you, Internet! (Who needs doctors?)

I can move the knuckles on my left hand back and forth at will. I've never met anyone else who can do this. Yes, I am a freak.

I don't drink, don't smoke - what do I do? My hubby James tells people who inquire my one vice is chocolate. I've never had the desire to start drinking, as I fear I'd end up being "that girl" who drinks way too much and ends up spewing annoying things and too much information, as well as the contents of her stomach. I've never had the desire to smell like an ashtray either. And drugs are bad, m-kay? (Did anyone get the South Park reference? Just wondering). I've decided I make a good Designated Driver, so I'll stick to it. Besides, I'd rather spend my money on chocolate.

My husband James and I are 90% different from each other, yet we get along like peas and carrots. I love that about us.

We named our dogs, Ofelia and Simon, after characters in two different Spanish films, of all things. Pan's Labyrinth and The Orphanage. Note: Simon's 'o' has an accent over it, but I'll be darned if I can't figure out how to accomplish that in this text.

I like my name. Even though I've heard endless 'Rocky' quotes and no one can say, spell, or remember my name, I still love it. In school, I was never Adrienne 'last initial here', unlike the many Jessica's, John's, and Megan's in my classes. I was my own person. I have plans of naming my children after a musician, a character in a novel, and a day of the week. Depending on my kids' genders and my future sensibilities, these names may never come to pass. *Bonus points if you can correctly guess all three names. I'll be impressed, but feel thwarted and probably hold a grudge against you for it.

My grandma and this lady at her church once got into an argument over which one of my parents I resemble the most. Sorry, Grandma, but I think I look more like my dad. But only slightly *wink*.

I'm fairly vocal about my loath for "Hollywood Cookie-Cutter Movies" (I just came up with that, just now!) My favorite movies don't usually follow a predictable, old storyline. In other words, I like to use my brain when watching a movie.

I wanted to be a detective when I was a kid. I didn't read a whole lot when I was younger, but I loved Agatha Christie books the most. Solving mysteries AND going on fabulous vacations while mingling with the rich and famous? Sign me up! Then, as I got older, I realized how messy, tiring, frustrating, and horrifying it must be to be a detective.

Speaking of finding dead bodies, yesterday I noticed a large, mysterious barrel lurking behind a dumpster at work. A co-worker and I examined it, and upon closer inspection discovered it was empty. Sigh. Maybe I watch too much Dexter and Cold Case Files, but I kinda wanted the barrel to contain something more sinister than just - nothing. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. But life is more exciting when you add some drama. For example, I'm pretty sure my neighbors below me are drug dealers...

As you may be able to tell by now, I have a very dry, obscure sense of humor, and I'm sorry about that. It's difficult to tell sometimes if I'm being sarcastic or not... Good luck with that!

Wow. That's everything and more you could ever, EVER possibly want to know about me, right? These are things you can never un-know!

5 comments:

  1. I think it will be my goal, although likely a short-lived one, to be the first comment on all of your posts. Because I have nothing better to do...

    I never knew about your crazy vision, but I'm pretty sure Robbie can move his knuckles in some weird way, so you may not be alone. That may or may not be good news to you.

    And I'll leave you with this: "Fundo, fundo, fundo, fundo, fundo, fundoCats!" Verbally abusive? You totally brought it on yourself ;)

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  2. Musician: Yo-Yo Ma
    Novel Character: Atticus Finch
    Day of the Week: Friday (after King Friday XIII)
    Am I right?

    I remember you telling me that Thunder Thigh story!

    I can make a vein in my left hand shift back and forth. Only other person I know who could do that was Jeff. Does this make us freaks, too?

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  3. It makes me feel good I'm not the only one walking around hoping to find dead bodies.
    Nice pink blog!

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  4. Wait, you smoke chocolate? Wouldn't it melt?

    One time when I was 23, a couple mistook me for 17. I wasn't sure what to say that them, I guess in return I could have mistaken them for ugly people.

    Visual static? Wow, I didn't know that. I have a vertical prism.

    Are you talking about moving your tendon back and forth over your knuckles? If you are, then I can do that too, on my right middle knuckle. There, you're not so special. (Oh, there's that ol' verbal abuse again, Whoops-a-Daisys!)

    If you're on a mac, type Option-E (or Alt E), then the letter you want to accent.

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  5. Love it! Your maiden name is your middle name now :) For a while when I was a kid I decided I didn't like my middle name so if I was asked, my response was "my name is Laura Perfect Hughes." What kind of answer is that? gawf! Of course that isn't the case now... much love to you, the hubby and the puppies.

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