Friday, October 29, 2010

Scream Queen *not affiliated with the new Scream 4 movie coming out soon - it looks super dumb

So... this post originally had a disclaimer to it, warning all who wished to read on that there were to be references to gore and violence, as well as movie spoilers. It included a special apology to my mother. After much consideration, I've decided to edit myself, and make this less unpleasant to read. Basically, I wimped out. I don't want to assume that everyone reading this is as into horror movies as I am. So, here is the PG version of my strong PG-13 original post. Oh, and there are still spoilers.

I've always loved horror movies. I'm addicted to them. No matter how gory, stupid, puzzling, boring, or 80's they happen to be. I love them all. I don't know what this fascination is with being frightened, but I've always been partial to the scary side of life. When I was old enough to decide what I wanted to be for Halloween, I chose to be a skeleton. The costume was a black shirt and pants with glow-in-the-dark bones on them. I wore them as pajamas until I grew out of them. They. Were. Awesome.

In honor of Halloween, I've decided to list my thoughts and recommendations on some of the scariest movies I've seen thus far.

So, in no particular order...

Though this one is slow, and contains very little special effects, it's a classic, through and through. That score, the mask, that scene at the end when you think he's dead for good, but wait!

When this movie first came out, I was too scared to see it. But when I finally did, I fell in love. Original plot, great ending. Even though it spawned six sequels - one's in 3d, so you know it's good! - this one is the best one. James makes fun of me because every time I rent the newest one, I sit there critiquing it: "Oh, that's so stupid!... This is silly!... Oh, no sane person would do that!..." But I keep coming back for more.

That is silly.

The original, not the remake (although Vince Vaughn plays a good psycho). Classic. Apparently, this one blew audiences away, because the so-called heroine gets murdered early on in the film. Crazy! So good. So iconic. The last scene always gives me chills.

Shaun Of The Dead
This one falls under the category of 'comedy meets horror'. Basically, it's British humor with a dash of gore. The tag line is something like 'A love story. With zombies.' Perfect.

Do you want to see grisly, horrible, ungodly things which you can never un-see? Then watch this one. No, really - it's a great movie, but so dark and disturbing. My friend Jenny wanted some scary movie recommendations last year at Halloween, and I let her borrow this one. She has not asked for my opinion this year.

The Exorcist
This is another one I hadn't seen until Halloween of last year. My brother-in-law couldn't believe that I hadn't yet seen this horror classic, so I rented it that night and the next day told him to shove it! Just kidding about that last part; I actually rented it a few days later. Spooky movie. That girl has got the mouth of a sailor - yikes!

I have to admire the special effects artists from back in the days before computers did all the work. The make-up in these movies is amazingly grotesque. I remember being a small child, frightened of this movie based solely upon the cover. That's some effective make-up.

A Nightmare On Elm Street
Classic. Another one I have to admire for it's special effects. Yes, it's cheesy, like the majority of every movie in every genre that came out of the 1980's. But it's still effective today. Again, another one I feared as a child, without seeing any bit of the movie. I distinctly remember having a nightmare involving Freddy Krueger when I was four or five years old. I grew up rough!

The first time I watched this one was at my cousin Rachel's slumber party. It scared the dickens out of me, all due to one scene which was too horrifying for me to even watch. It involved a man hallucinating, I think. To this day, I have not seen this part of the movie, so I've never found out if this scene really was as terrible as I thought.

The Hills Have Eyes
I admit, the one I'm referring to is the - cringe - remake. Pretty disturbing. But I didn't feel the full affect until a couple years ago.
I was living in the Flaming Gorge area and on a day off, I decided to have an adventure. I had heard something about some unusual rock formations that were 'worth seeing'. I drove all by myself out to the middle of nowhere on about a three hour round-trip excursion with no map and no knowledge of what I would find upon my arrival. After a brief wrong-turn into a rock quarry, where I'm sure I attracted some puzzled looks, I found my way to the literal Middle Of Nowhere. It was deserted. A small place to park, a creepy bathroom, and some rocks. My thoughts immediately turned to this movie (see, this was going somewhere). I cautiously took a few pictures and hastily returned to my vehicle and headed back from whence I came. There were many, many more marvelous rock formations to behold, but I was not going to end up like those people.

A grandiose waste of time, but an adventure, none the less (the movie, as well as my trip).

The Fourth Kind
I've never that been interested in aliens, but this movie makes you wonder. It claims to show actual footage of  'weird, crazy happenings' on a split screen with actors portraying said mysterious events. After watching this I was skeptical, but part of me really wondered if it was real. So I looked it up on the interwebs. I feel very foolish and angry at how silly I was to think that was actual footage. Curse you, Hollywood!

Decent movie. One of M. Night's first, before things started going really down hill (trees killing people? C'mon!) James and I were watching this a few weeks ago and I guess I forgot how much I like it. It was made before we all knew how messed up Mel Gibson was. Those were the days...

So, after watching The Fourth Kind and Signs in one week, I've decided I'm afraid of an alien invasion. May God have mercy on our souls.

The Sixth Sense
Can't mention Signs without a nod to this gem. Very original and spooky. After all the spoilers I've thrown out in this post, I will not ruin this one for anyone who still hasn't seen this movie.

The opening scene scared me when I was little. But I absolutely loved this movie and all that spawned from it. I loved the cartoon. I loved the toys. I loved Slimer. And I still do.

The 'Burbs
Ok, so this one falls more under the category of 'comedy', but some scenes of it scared me a little as a kid (one of which, coincidentally, is from The Exorcist). Neighbors from hell! It's got some funny lines and great cast. Go rent it! Tom Hanks is in it. You like Tom Hanks.

The Lady In Black
I remember only one thing about this movie. It had something to do with a little toy soldier that kept disappearing and reappearing in odd places. My sister claims I was afraid of curtains for months because of this movie. I have no idea why. Just the fact that this movie had that big of an impact on me earned it a mention, however confusing.

Three Men And A Baby
You laugh, but you remember the infamous scene with the dead little boy in the window? It was later proven to be nothing more than the cardboard cut-out of Ted Danson, seen at the beginning of the movie. But it still made such an impact on me and frightened me as a child, thanks to some magic story-telling by my older brother. James still swears it's really a ghost. Oh, James...

...Wait - is that why I was afraid of curtains?!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

She Wore A Purple Ribbon

It came to my attention last week that a group on Facebook was promoting a "Wear Purple Today" page. In so many words, they wanted to get as many people as they possibly could to wear purple on October 20th to show respect for the LGBT community, particularly those of whom had committed suicide or were murdered due to bullying and discrimination. I thought this was a good idea and a simple way to show how I feel about all that.

As I was planning on what to wear, I quickly realized I had no purple items in my wardrobe. I had good intentions of coming up with something to show my support. (I work in a craft store, for crying out loud!) I thought of purchasing some cute flowers to fashion into clips, one of which was purple, but decided against it because I'm cheap. I could make a watch band out of some amethyst I had in my ever-growing collection of beads, but I decided I'm too lazy for that. I metaphorically threw my hands up in the air and ultimately made the decision to simply pin a purple ribbon onto my bright red work shirt.

I hadn't thought things through, and before I knew it, many co-workers were questioning me, asking, "Why the purple ribbon?" I, somewhat sheepishly, explained why I was wearing it, and received a positive response overall. 'Somewhat sheepishly', I say, because I didn't know what to expect in response. On top of that, I am terribly awkward, and responded the first few times with something akin to: "Oh - um it's for all the gay people and all that who have killed themselves 'cause of, you know, discrimination and stuff. It was on Facebook, and I do everything Facebook tells me to do..."

I hadn't realized how wearing an actual ribbon would generate such response and conversation. If I had made my purple flower clip or happened to have had a purple shirt to wear under my work shirt, no one would be prompted to inquire why I had made this fashion choice. But a ribbon... Initially silent, yet visible.

I'm glad I did it this way, because I learned a few things about the people I work with, all positive, and was able to start a dialogue about this popular and controversial subject. I'm glad I stood for something about which I'm very passionate. Even if it was just for one day, the effects will last much longer.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I Have Readers...?

Thanks for comments, everyone!

Allie, you are my #1 Fan! Your T-shirt is in the mail. It reads: Funda Funda Funda Funda!

Alex, you are correct on one name - probably the most obvious one since I named that book as one of my fav's on Facebook. But Yo-Yo Ma? Yikes. I'm not that crazy. Um... I guess his parents don't feel the same way though... Side note: I also love the name Ava, but I feel that by the time I have kids, that name will be more common than John, and I just can't have that.

Robbie, I hate you. Just kidding; I'm glad we share such a weird thing in common, I guess. James is the only person I've told about my visual static until now. I tried asking Mom about it once, but her confused response scarred me for life, so I never mentioned it to her again. I like your comment about smoking chocolate. I'm trying to cut back, but I just love that smooth flavor.

Rachel, I'm glad I'm not the only one who walks around town, hoping to stumble upon a corpse or a body part. It's the only reason I even go out of the house sometimes. "What's that, honey? We're out of pears? I better go to the store..." I don't know where 'pears' came from - we never have pears in our house. All the more reason to go grab some, I suppose.

Laura, that could still be your middle name if you wanted!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Things You May Not Know (and May Not Wish to Know) About Me

I have no middle name. In middle school, my friends and I would make up a different one every week or so. The only one I remember is 'Love'.

Quite a few people have mistaken me for a Spanish-speaking gal. I have English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Swedish, and Danish blood. Did I forget any...? I suppose those folks from Wales migrated from Spain ages ago, and that's where I get my coloring. Now you know!

My two nicknames when I was a baby were "Thunder Thighs" and "Cuddle Bunny". I think it's pretty obvious which one I prefer... Thundercats are GO! Totally kidding - I'm very insecure about my thighs, thanks to my verbally abusive family.

I lived in England for five years, and have traveled all around Europe, but have never been further east in the United States than the Chicago airport.

I got married in Las Vegas. I wasn't drunk at the time; I actually planned it! Looking back, I still don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to get married in Vegas. But, despite all the smut and loudness of that city, the wedding was perfect for us.

I follow the rules a little too well. For example, when another driver crosses over the double white line of the carpool lane, I am amazed that they were physically able to do such a thing.

I don't like the way I talk. I have a very "interesting" accent, which I am constantly trying to control. I learned how to talk in Oklahoma. I briefly spoke with a British accent (my husband wishes I still did) while living in the UK. Then I moved to Utah and that accent took over. Big time. Add in a dash of "like, totally, whatever!" and that's me. Ugh.

I'm terribly afraid of spiders, yet I chose to place a gigantic, furry (fake) one in my window for Halloween. Side note: Take that, everyone else in my condo community! My window spanks you guys!

I'm now 26, but many people assume I'm much younger. It shouldn't, but it bugs the CRAP out of me.

I have a visual condition casually referred to as "visual static". Basically, think of one of those magic eye pictures plus static/snow on a tv. That's what I see all the time. It's really no big deal in the daytime, vision-wise. It's clearest at night in the dark and it's crazy (who needs LSD?) I've seen this stuff for as long as I can remember. Until about a year ago, I thought I was the only person on Earth who had this, but then I found a website with a bunch of people describing the same things. Thank you, Internet! (Who needs doctors?)

I can move the knuckles on my left hand back and forth at will. I've never met anyone else who can do this. Yes, I am a freak.

I don't drink, don't smoke - what do I do? My hubby James tells people who inquire my one vice is chocolate. I've never had the desire to start drinking, as I fear I'd end up being "that girl" who drinks way too much and ends up spewing annoying things and too much information, as well as the contents of her stomach. I've never had the desire to smell like an ashtray either. And drugs are bad, m-kay? (Did anyone get the South Park reference? Just wondering). I've decided I make a good Designated Driver, so I'll stick to it. Besides, I'd rather spend my money on chocolate.

My husband James and I are 90% different from each other, yet we get along like peas and carrots. I love that about us.

We named our dogs, Ofelia and Simon, after characters in two different Spanish films, of all things. Pan's Labyrinth and The Orphanage. Note: Simon's 'o' has an accent over it, but I'll be darned if I can't figure out how to accomplish that in this text.

I like my name. Even though I've heard endless 'Rocky' quotes and no one can say, spell, or remember my name, I still love it. In school, I was never Adrienne 'last initial here', unlike the many Jessica's, John's, and Megan's in my classes. I was my own person. I have plans of naming my children after a musician, a character in a novel, and a day of the week. Depending on my kids' genders and my future sensibilities, these names may never come to pass. *Bonus points if you can correctly guess all three names. I'll be impressed, but feel thwarted and probably hold a grudge against you for it.

My grandma and this lady at her church once got into an argument over which one of my parents I resemble the most. Sorry, Grandma, but I think I look more like my dad. But only slightly *wink*.

I'm fairly vocal about my loath for "Hollywood Cookie-Cutter Movies" (I just came up with that, just now!) My favorite movies don't usually follow a predictable, old storyline. In other words, I like to use my brain when watching a movie.

I wanted to be a detective when I was a kid. I didn't read a whole lot when I was younger, but I loved Agatha Christie books the most. Solving mysteries AND going on fabulous vacations while mingling with the rich and famous? Sign me up! Then, as I got older, I realized how messy, tiring, frustrating, and horrifying it must be to be a detective.

Speaking of finding dead bodies, yesterday I noticed a large, mysterious barrel lurking behind a dumpster at work. A co-worker and I examined it, and upon closer inspection discovered it was empty. Sigh. Maybe I watch too much Dexter and Cold Case Files, but I kinda wanted the barrel to contain something more sinister than just - nothing. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. But life is more exciting when you add some drama. For example, I'm pretty sure my neighbors below me are drug dealers...

As you may be able to tell by now, I have a very dry, obscure sense of humor, and I'm sorry about that. It's difficult to tell sometimes if I'm being sarcastic or not... Good luck with that!

Wow. That's everything and more you could ever, EVER possibly want to know about me, right? These are things you can never un-know!

Hello World! (or The 14 People Who Will Actually Glance at This Every Now & Then

My name is Adrienne, and this is my blog.

I wanted to jump on the band wagon of sharing hours and hours of my ramblings and useless information with the masses, so here I am!

I began writing less and less in an actual journal as grew up and my relationships became more stable (ie: Does he like me? Do I like him? He's a jerk! I hate school!). For the past few years, I've felt too busy to find some quiet time and write down my thoughts and feelings. Turns out I was just lazy. Scratch that - I still am. But now I've discovered it's easier to type than write, and I get to be an exhibitionist at the same time!

So here I am, sharing my life with whoever will have me. At least I know my mom will read this!