Friday, October 29, 2010

Scream Queen *not affiliated with the new Scream 4 movie coming out soon - it looks super dumb

So... this post originally had a disclaimer to it, warning all who wished to read on that there were to be references to gore and violence, as well as movie spoilers. It included a special apology to my mother. After much consideration, I've decided to edit myself, and make this less unpleasant to read. Basically, I wimped out. I don't want to assume that everyone reading this is as into horror movies as I am. So, here is the PG version of my strong PG-13 original post. Oh, and there are still spoilers.

I've always loved horror movies. I'm addicted to them. No matter how gory, stupid, puzzling, boring, or 80's they happen to be. I love them all. I don't know what this fascination is with being frightened, but I've always been partial to the scary side of life. When I was old enough to decide what I wanted to be for Halloween, I chose to be a skeleton. The costume was a black shirt and pants with glow-in-the-dark bones on them. I wore them as pajamas until I grew out of them. They. Were. Awesome.

In honor of Halloween, I've decided to list my thoughts and recommendations on some of the scariest movies I've seen thus far.

So, in no particular order...

Halloween
Though this one is slow, and contains very little special effects, it's a classic, through and through. That score, the mask, that scene at the end when you think he's dead for good, but wait!

Saw
When this movie first came out, I was too scared to see it. But when I finally did, I fell in love. Original plot, great ending. Even though it spawned six sequels - one's in 3d, so you know it's good! - this one is the best one. James makes fun of me because every time I rent the newest one, I sit there critiquing it: "Oh, that's so stupid!... This is silly!... Oh, no sane person would do that!..." But I keep coming back for more.

That is silly.

Psycho
The original, not the remake (although Vince Vaughn plays a good psycho). Classic. Apparently, this one blew audiences away, because the so-called heroine gets murdered early on in the film. Crazy! So good. So iconic. The last scene always gives me chills.

Shaun Of The Dead
This one falls under the category of 'comedy meets horror'. Basically, it's British humor with a dash of gore. The tag line is something like 'A love story. With zombies.' Perfect.

Martyrs
Do you want to see grisly, horrible, ungodly things which you can never un-see? Then watch this one. No, really - it's a great movie, but so dark and disturbing. My friend Jenny wanted some scary movie recommendations last year at Halloween, and I let her borrow this one. She has not asked for my opinion this year.

The Exorcist
This is another one I hadn't seen until Halloween of last year. My brother-in-law couldn't believe that I hadn't yet seen this horror classic, so I rented it that night and the next day told him to shove it! Just kidding about that last part; I actually rented it a few days later. Spooky movie. That girl has got the mouth of a sailor - yikes!

Hellraiser
I have to admire the special effects artists from back in the days before computers did all the work. The make-up in these movies is amazingly grotesque. I remember being a small child, frightened of this movie based solely upon the cover. That's some effective make-up.

A Nightmare On Elm Street
Classic. Another one I have to admire for it's special effects. Yes, it's cheesy, like the majority of every movie in every genre that came out of the 1980's. But it's still effective today. Again, another one I feared as a child, without seeing any bit of the movie. I distinctly remember having a nightmare involving Freddy Krueger when I was four or five years old. I grew up rough!

Poltergeist
The first time I watched this one was at my cousin Rachel's slumber party. It scared the dickens out of me, all due to one scene which was too horrifying for me to even watch. It involved a man hallucinating, I think. To this day, I have not seen this part of the movie, so I've never found out if this scene really was as terrible as I thought.

The Hills Have Eyes
I admit, the one I'm referring to is the - cringe - remake. Pretty disturbing. But I didn't feel the full affect until a couple years ago.
I was living in the Flaming Gorge area and on a day off, I decided to have an adventure. I had heard something about some unusual rock formations that were 'worth seeing'. I drove all by myself out to the middle of nowhere on about a three hour round-trip excursion with no map and no knowledge of what I would find upon my arrival. After a brief wrong-turn into a rock quarry, where I'm sure I attracted some puzzled looks, I found my way to the literal Middle Of Nowhere. It was deserted. A small place to park, a creepy bathroom, and some rocks. My thoughts immediately turned to this movie (see, this was going somewhere). I cautiously took a few pictures and hastily returned to my vehicle and headed back from whence I came. There were many, many more marvelous rock formations to behold, but I was not going to end up like those people.

A grandiose waste of time, but an adventure, none the less (the movie, as well as my trip).

The Fourth Kind
I've never that been interested in aliens, but this movie makes you wonder. It claims to show actual footage of  'weird, crazy happenings' on a split screen with actors portraying said mysterious events. After watching this I was skeptical, but part of me really wondered if it was real. So I looked it up on the interwebs. I feel very foolish and angry at how silly I was to think that was actual footage. Curse you, Hollywood!

Signs
Decent movie. One of M. Night's first, before things started going really down hill (trees killing people? C'mon!) James and I were watching this a few weeks ago and I guess I forgot how much I like it. It was made before we all knew how messed up Mel Gibson was. Those were the days...

So, after watching The Fourth Kind and Signs in one week, I've decided I'm afraid of an alien invasion. May God have mercy on our souls.

The Sixth Sense
Can't mention Signs without a nod to this gem. Very original and spooky. After all the spoilers I've thrown out in this post, I will not ruin this one for anyone who still hasn't seen this movie.

Ghostbusters
The opening scene scared me when I was little. But I absolutely loved this movie and all that spawned from it. I loved the cartoon. I loved the toys. I loved Slimer. And I still do.

The 'Burbs
Ok, so this one falls more under the category of 'comedy', but some scenes of it scared me a little as a kid (one of which, coincidentally, is from The Exorcist). Neighbors from hell! It's got some funny lines and great cast. Go rent it! Tom Hanks is in it. You like Tom Hanks.

The Lady In Black
I remember only one thing about this movie. It had something to do with a little toy soldier that kept disappearing and reappearing in odd places. My sister claims I was afraid of curtains for months because of this movie. I have no idea why. Just the fact that this movie had that big of an impact on me earned it a mention, however confusing.

Three Men And A Baby
You laugh, but you remember the infamous scene with the dead little boy in the window? It was later proven to be nothing more than the cardboard cut-out of Ted Danson, seen at the beginning of the movie. But it still made such an impact on me and frightened me as a child, thanks to some magic story-telling by my older brother. James still swears it's really a ghost. Oh, James...

...Wait - is that why I was afraid of curtains?!

4 comments:

  1. I've never seen the first Poltregeist movie (just the 2nd, I think), so I can't say for sure, but from what I've heard, yes, that scene was truly as terrifying as you thought.

    And what about The Watcher in the Woods? Classic spooky movie. Because of it blindfolds make me nervous. As do people named Karen. I'm afraid to show it to the girls yet because of how much it freaked me out as a kid.

    And, seriously, who's afraid of curtains?!

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  2. Spooky! I don't remember letting you kids watch those really spooky movies...!? Maybe "Ghostbusters" (after Dad and I watched it first!). I vaguely remember "Watcher in the Woods" which was supposed to be a children's movie, but I remember it it scared me! Haven't seen most of the ones you mentioned...and most likely won't!!! My goodness, I didn't know you liked horror movies, Adrie!

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  3. I didn't see The Ring mentioned. I used to *love* scary movies, but that one ruined me to them. Seriously, I had to sleep with the light on for like two weeks. And I was 21 when I saw it.

    One that scared me to death when I was little, even though I only saw about seven minutes of it, was Child's Play. Dolls are supposed to be our friends!

    Love your list! You almost got me in the mood to watch a scary movie--almost. But Rob is going out of town later this week, so I'll save my sanity and skip it for now.

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  4. 3 Men and a Baby, HA!

    A guy I went to film school with posted this on his blog, it's a list of what he things are the 31 best horror films of the decade:
    http://floydfortnightly.blogspot.com/2010/10/31-best-horror-films-of-decade-2000-10.html

    I haven't seen most of them. I can highly recommend The Host, if you haven't seen it. I really enjoyed it.

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